Universal Loving-Kindness & The Integral Assessment

Universal Loving-Kindness & The Integral Assessment

Developing interpersonally requires that we turn to a universal loving-kindness. Elaborating on loving-kindness in that we extend to intimate romantic relationships, we broaden the reach to include family, friends, strangers, and even enemies. It is not enough to just physiologically hear what another is saying but to really listen. As our consciousness expands, we are able to develop empathy in really seeing, listening, and caring for another in a way that is joyful, compassionate, sensitive, and loving.

The universal loving-kindness meditation exercise to me was an expansion of the loving-kindness exercise. This short practice was commanding for me as it dissolved all self-centeredness. My focus became absorbed in the well-being of others which opened fully my mind and heart. I immersed myself in the suffering of others and acknowledge the fact that we never realize what they are enduring. Why in the world would I want anything but healing, happiness, wholeness, and health for another human being? Taking this a step more in asking what I can do to help another is not a difficult task. The answers are there before me. It is not that I need to provide any monetary contributions, but those in the light of listening, extending love, kindness and more. In turn, I find that I am blessed with a spiritual ease that I have never experienced. There have been times in my life when this selflessness was freely and honestly given to me. I wish to reciprocate what I considered a gift in having another to lend an ear or demonstrate unconditional ardor. A practice like this spawns a connectedness.

Considering the integral assessment, I realize the four quadrants of my life are out of balance; certain ones need fine tuning, assessment and transformation while others seem acceptable for the time being. My biological flourishing is one that needs immediate attention in the aspect of nutrition and exercise. It is clear of the interaction of the mind and body as they work as one; so without one, the other suffers. My fiancé and I have recently altered our eating habits; not changing everything at once, but little by little to avoid the shock, thus ‘staying with it.’ We have remained stagnate for several years in doing what was quick and easy rather than healthy and mindful. Additionally, with the hustle and bustle of our busy lives, exercise has fallen to nil. We have talked empty about this for some time. We have decided to begin slowly here as well so that discouragement will be decreased. Recently, we decided to make an excel chart tracking how much we walk. I find that accountability works best for me when you have a partner. Yes we need to make time for nurturing our bodies, thus nurturing the mind. This is the quadrant I should attend to first.

The quadrant that falls second to biological is worldly. Not in the aspect of social activism, but in my work. I find that I go to work on automata and out of survival rather than chosen and pleasurable. Mending my work relationship is a work in progress. I want to find more purpose and meaning rather than a deposited paycheck.

The quadrant of psychospiritual falls third. My mind and heart is in this. I have been developing and tuning my thought processes for some times now. Through meditative practices, I have come a long way. This applies to emotional wellness too. Speaking to my fiancé last night, I asked him to engage in a partner meditation with me; he reluctantly agreed. I think that when two people are in tune with each other, the better health outcome for both. I feel like I am on the right path here.

Finally I turn to the interpersonal quadrant. I feel this is the most caressed aspect of my life. I love people and enjoy interacting with others. As a future counselor, I feel a divine calling to be that person who helps one to heal. This part of my life changed some 6 years ago. I do not find socializing, helping others out, being a shoulder to lean on and more to be an imposition at all. I look for ways to help others any time I can.

So as I begin to fine tune the biological quadrant, I will continue to revisit the others and try to find balance. With each, I will adjust as needed.  

The Subtle Mind vs. Loving-Kindness

The Subtle Mind and Loving-Kindness

Both the meditation exercises of the Subtle Mind and Loving-Kindness had their own set of challenges and rewards. The Loving-Kindness exercise seemed more forced than natural. I believe the underpinnings pointed to a lack of experience rather than the content of the exercise. However, the Loving-Kindness thoroughly reached to the heart of my being in that it considered other people. I attended to and considered the feelings, thoughts, struggles, and suffering of loved ones and humankind in general. This experience was like no other for me. Self-serving thinking is one way to remain unhealthy. It is by extending love and kindness that true rewards are revealed.

The Subtle Mind exercise was somewhat easier as some experience was now on my side. I realized the efficacy of the Loving-Kindness exercise, therefore willing to take extra steps to fully participate in the Subtle Mind. Feeling the deepening of my inner self during this practice was liberating. This is a part of me that has never been contacted. Probably the frustration I experienced during this practice was the imagery part. I find it difficult to visualize at times. As the practice moved forward, I realized that I was still focused on the previous task. Mindfully, I tried to bring myself back to the current task and this too proved to be frustrating. Once thrown off track, by my own lack of control, it was difficult to focus.

I believe the most important things I have learned thus far are to consider myself as one, which is of the mind, body and spirit. These entities dynamically work together and without consideration of all, nothing is to be gained. Rather than focusing solely on my physical ailments, I consider the role of mental and spiritual contributions and vice versa. As much as I want to make activities such as meditation, yoga, or Tai Chi as regular practice, I have thus far failed to do so. I am beginning to understand for the first time in my life of the crucial benefits of mental fitness. This class has given me more practice than ever and even perhaps a springboard to begin a habitual regimen.  

The Practice of Loving-Kindness

I found the meditation practice of living-kindness to really open my mind; to become aware of people near to me, people far from me. These people are friends, family, co-workers, fellow-learners, and strangers. On a daily basis, I consider myself as to the events in my life, what is happening with me right now and so forth. Rarely do I have a quiet moment to truly consider those around me and those whom I do not even know.

This practice took me to a place I have never consciously went before. It the beginning, it was somewhat tough to pay attention to the instructions when I heard the sound of waves in the background. All I could think of at that point was previous visits to the beach and was unable to focus on the task.

Another road-block I experienced was when I was asked to shift my thoughts to the feelings and images that move in and out of my awareness, especially those that are disturbing. When asked to give equal amounts of love, kindness, care, it was almost impossible. Thoughts of negative self-images can flooding in and frankly this overwhelmed me. I was not able to begin to successfully complete this small section of the meditation. I feel as if I am too hard on myself and find it impossible to give that kind of attention to the insecurities I hold. I have to learn to open up and extend that kindness to myself that I give to others.

The mood and focus changed as the directions to extend care, love and kindness to other came into play. This part for me felt wonderful. I was able to think specifically about a loved one who has been having a lot of trouble in their life and I felt as if I were helping someone by doing this. I felt that I was really taking some of their pain by breathing it in, allowing it to dissolve, and then breathing-out love to that person. During the next minute or so, I thought of things that I could do specifically for this person; they were small gestures that would go a long way.

Another aspect of this meditation that I found to be a new and wonderful experience was including a circle of strangers and breathe in their suffering. My mind immediately went to a woman who has been known to walk around the city in which I live for more than 20 years now. She suffers from multiple psychological disorders (specifically schizophrenia) and pretty much everyone in town knows her. The temperature was 7 degrees tonight and I saw her walking. She will not accept rides because she likes the walks, but I did include her in this practice. I do not know what she needs, but I will include her again and again and perhaps will eventually discover an answer.

I would definitely recommend this practice to others as it helps to remove self-centeredness as suggested by Dacher in the text. To me, that is often the root to our troubles. I am a firm believer in that you get what you give. Not that you give to receive, just simply as I stated it. Giving does not indicate material because there are things far more important. Not only does this help remove self-centeredness,  but it helps me to consider and be sensitive to the needs of others. If helps me to provide sympathy and empathy and know that you cannot judge a book by its cover. We all have struggles of some sort and you never know what another person is experiencing behind the curtains. This practice encourages me to be kind to other. I will have to learn to extend this same practice to myself.

A mental work-out is just as it is appears. It is important to keep the mind sharp and healthy. Learning that our minds are not stuck just as they are is good news; plasticity is the key here. We can workout the mind just as we do our muscles. Making time each day for meditation and other practices, can change the way we look at or approach people, places, things.

Physical, Psychological, and Spiritual Well-Being

A Reflection of Well-Being

 

Based on my reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 of well-being, I rate my physical well-being at a 5, my spiritual well-being at a 6, and my psychological well-being at yet another 5. There are many reasons I chose the middle number for rating my well-being on all three aspects. Beginning with physical, I am fairly active, but no longer participate in sports or other recreational activities because the kids are grown, moved away, and I felt like it was time for relaxation and quiet time at home. I realize now that a body at rest stays at rest and I need to get involved in something. I bought a brand new elliptical several months ago, but it has only been used twice. That’s pretty terrible. I normally stay away from New Year’s Resolutions, but this year, and because of this class, I have made several for myself. I rate a 5 because I am nowhere near optimal well-being, but nowhere near the bottom either. Just recently have I become lazy, and I think it’s time to step it up.

Spiritual well-being I have rated at 6. Just as with the physical, I do not feel like a 10 but I do not feel like a 1 either. In fact, several months back I began to explore Buddhism with the guidance of a Professor. I feel like I am evolving in my spiritual well-being but certainly do not feel confident enough to rate myself any higher than 6 just yet.

Psychological well-being I have rated at a 6 just as spiritual well-being and for the same reasons. Again, I am in the middle of a complete transformation, a new me. With that said, I feel like I am moving at a nice pace in finding myself, my whole self. I am learning what is behind anger and how to be more emotionally intelligent. This is truly changing my life, but I realize much more work is yet to be touched upon. I have an open mind and will keep moving towards real happiness in all aspects of my life.

Goals that I have set forth are first, making changing in my diet. I feel like eating right directly affects an individual’s well-being and that is in all three of these aspects. Five weeks ago, my fiancé and I made a small and subtle change in the way and what we eat. We have eliminated all white foods including potatoes, pastas, rice, white bread and added a lot of green leafy vegetables, asparagus, salads, grilled chicken, fish and more. Both of us have dropped about 5 pounds each but the weight loss has affected our confidence, energy levels, moods, etc. This is a slow process but one I believe will stick and pay-off in the long run. Change does not take place overnight, it is a process.

Other changes I wish to make are to engage in more meditation and listen to more of the Reiki recordings that a friend gave to me. I wish to calm my body and calm my mind. At times I have trouble with excess stress, anxiety, and mild depression that I wish to stave off using these techniques. Oh and Tai Chi as well. I believe that I will also incorporate all of the principles of integral healing in my daily life. If only a little at a time, I want to start.

Other exercises to help assist me in my goals are to start fast-paced and trail walking. My fiancé and I just bought a house in the Georgia International Horsepark (used for equestrian use during the 1996 Olympics) and it has wonderful mountain hiking or biking trails. I want to take advantage of this opportunity and challenge. Again, picking up my exercise will help me to approach no only the biological aspect of human experience, but psychspiritual, worldly, and interpersonal.

I completed the relaxation exercise “The Crime of the Century.” There is no doubt that this exercise was relaxing. At first when the man was asking me to think of something red, my mind went off completely to a whole list of red things. Then I was thrown off balance because I kept asking myself if I has pick an adequate enough red object or should I pick something else. It was clear that I was experiencing some anxiety for a reason that is unknown to me. Perhaps it was because I had 6 people from out of town staying at my house from before Christmas and ended up leaving only today around lunch time. I suppose I felt obligated to be the hostess and experienced some guilt for taking a moment to do what I needed to do. There were times during this exercise that I felt my entire body relax and boy I wish I could experience that every day for at least 20 minutes per day. Then again, I would hear the back door slam, laughter, chatter, barking dogs, screaming because of football games and this continued day and night. This is another goal I will set for myself in that I need perhaps just 30 minutes of alone time. Overall, I do feel the benefits of these exercises are more than I ever imagined. I could literally feel my arms and legs become one with my body and no separation in limbs. It was an awesome feeling. At times, my mind was truly still and calm. Now that I have experienced that, I crave it more.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please, I welcome any suggestions concerning my goals; they will be embraced with open arms. Happy New Year Everyone!!